by Russell R. Collins
In my wilder moments I sometimes tell people that I play golf. They may well conjure up images in their heads of Jack Nicklaus and myself laughing together over the round we just played, but the truth is that actually you’ll probably find me crying in a patch of overgrown wilderness with my club wrapped firmly round a sycamore and a score card that looks more like a selection of lottery numbers. Jack Nicklaus, on the other hand, who has never heard of me, is the renowned world champion golfer, and is quite good at it. I bet he’s never had an encounter with a sycamore and a patch of thistles.
Besides being a world champion golfer and ambassador for the sport, Jack is well known for being an excellent designer of golf courses, and has recently become introduced to a new audience through his recent television adverts for Polaris. Whether or not you’re interested in buying property overseas, if you’re a golfer like me, or perhaps a slightly better one, then what Jack has done over there might well be of interest. Believe it or not, he has designed nine new golf courses specifically for one resort! That’s a staggering 162 holes in the ground for me to miss. On the upside, that also probably means a good couple of hundred sandy bunkers for me to become horribly familiar with too.
I wasn’t really thinking about overseas property myself, although I can’t say why. Like most people I think it’s just one of those things that other people do isn’t it? Those neighbours of yours that live two doors down and always seem to be off somewhere and even in the middle of winter they have deep rich tans that you pretend not to notice and secretly resent. They always seem happy too. Damn those neighbours. But what got me interested was the whole of idea of having nine new golf courses all nestled near each other. That sounds like any golfer’s heaven, whether your professional or an amateur. I class myself as an amateur personally. Some people don’t even think I have made it that far, but then everyone’s a critic.
This country isn’t quite like Spain, where apparently it rains mainly on the plains. In this country it rains mainly on the land, and as a result playing golf is a bit like water polo. You dress up in smart, sometimes oddball outfits, but at least clean. Unlike the television broadcasts of world class golfers playing in endless sunshine wearing t-shirts and sporting tans and big grins, playing golf over here is more like wading through mud and searching for your ball that has sunk to the bottom of another puddle.
So that’s what made me think that moving to Spain sounds like a great idea. Imagine it - nine golf courses, endless sun, beautiful views, guaranteed good weather. Sounds like a dream. Maybe those neighbours of mine have got the right idea. But then there’s the hassle of moving over there and it all is so difficult, I wonder whether it’s worthwhile. But amazingly, I recently found out that many of these companies that deal with overseas property actually offer free trips over there to have a look and see what it would be like. They’ll even throw in a round of golf while you’re there. A free trip to Spain? A round of golf on a Jack Nicklaus course - it’s all sounding very tempting. I may even start to consider what I’d look like with a tan and a smile.
Do you know what your house is worth? I had mine valued recently, and paid little attention to it. Then I saw one of those television adverts for overseas property with golf courses and sun, and couldn’t believe that the cheapest houses there were half the cost of my home, and for the price my house is worth I could get a grand villa! Imagine that - a grand villa in Spain with all that sun, a private balcony overlooking the mountains on one side and the blue ocean on the other, and 162 holes just crying out for me to try to sink a small white ball into them. And even more bunkers starting to get excited at the prospect of more company.
It’s surprising how quickly images start to build in your mind of lazy summer days even in the winter, or rolling golf courses crying out for you to have another go today, blue rolling oceans and vast mountain ranges. It starts to make my suburban semi look a bit cold, bleak and small. Not to mention crowded. I almost feel as though the tan is starting to appear just by thinking about it. The houses themselves look very stylish, with a contemporary design coupled with traditional colours, materials and features. It’s a bit like living the fantasy without the inevitable bad bits you assume will haunt you. I wonder if I would miss the rain and grey skies?
And then I have to think again about the fact that these companies are actually offering free trips to try it out! I never considered myself a potential overseas property buyer, but really, I can’t think of any really good reasons why not. I work from home myself, like many people do these days. With the increased use of technology so many people become flexible about where they work, that moving to another country is not as hard as it once used to be. The fact that all these television adverts and brochures are targeting us in this country means that they have excellent links and support, and have provided the service to so many people before that the whole process is well orchestrated. I’m very tempted - but then, you would be, wouldn’t you? Especially if you play golf better than I do.
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