Home Dr. Noel Swanson.. on 28 Mar 2008
Working together - An Important Parenting Skill
Kids learn from example; and if you can involve your children in the household activities, you gain on several counts: they share your burden of work; they get your time and attention; and they learn to work as a team. The best parenting advice is to work together in raising your children and establishing child discipline. Children are children; and whether they are your own or your spouse’s kids from a previous relationship, it is the duty of the two people who make up their parents to work together to form their children’s discipline plan.
Children are experts in parent playing; they know how to get their way, if not from parent, they will go to the other parent. This often leads to misunderstanding between the parents and children use this situation to their own advantage.
This is why working together as parents is essential to the welfare and stability of a home and well as a valuable parenting skill. The first thing to do is to sit down and have a meeting - just the parents - and work out a system that works for you as parents.
If necessary, equally separate the subjects that a parent will decide on. For example, one parent handles outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities. This will prevent the child or children from being able to play one parent against the other.
Another option to head off child behavior problems is that each situation requires the approval of both parents in order for an answer to be given. This often works but can be a bit troublesome when one parent is not available.
Once you have decided about the methods to be used, you need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you’ve decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.
Your children must have the perception that you work together as a team. It will help the older children to understand the situation and it will deter them from future parent playing. It works for smaller children just as well too, because establishing this routine will prevent parent playing from occurring.
Working together has much greater benefits than just stopping children from parent playing. After all, parenting is not only about going to the park or watching TV. You need to take decisions on what type and kind of education they have to be given? Which religion or faith a child should be brought up in? What type of child disciplinary measures should be taken? All of these questions and many more need to be addressed together as a team, and as they grow up, they should become a part of the team.